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Date of last update: 8/24/2017.

Forum Name: Psychiatric Topics

Question: Raped? virginity need to talk

 goghal - Fri Dec 26, 2008 3:19 am

Over a year ago I was very careless at a party when i decided to drink a large amount, I felt like the people were just throwing the drinks at me... I became very tired and passed out in a bed. the next thing i remember is a person having sex with me, I was so drunk i couldn't say anything or move. I remember just crying and thinking how bad it hurt. This is how i lost my virginity and it kills me. Now I am with a person who I am very happy with. The only time i feel safe of completely happy is when I am with him. He is the only person I have ever actually wanted to have a sexual relationship with. I want to tell him about this as I feel he should know and I have never shared this with anyone else. I am only scared of his reaction to what had happened. Also I have to still face the person I believe to have done this. I think i would really feel better if i told my boyfriend. But I need guidance in doing so.
 Debbie Miller, RN - Fri Dec 26, 2008 10:27 pm

User avatar Hello,
You must realize that everyone makes mistakes in their judgment at times. These are terrible consequences for you but the pain and fear can be overcome. People who love each other can forgive one another's past. In your case, someone took advantage of the situation. While you chose to drink and put yourself in a vulnerable position, the fact remains that someone abused you. You must remember that this is abuse and you are not responsible for this. If being honest about it with your boyfriend helps your healing, by all means do it and if he loves you, I believe it will be fine.

You may want to speak to a counselor who understands sexual abuse to help you get past this and to help you find the right way to share it. This should not ruin your relationship and getting it out into the open will probably take a huge weight off your shoulders.

Good luck.

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