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Date of last update: 8/24/2017.

Forum Name: Psychiatric Topics

Question: Uncomfortable in certain social situations

 birk - Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:02 pm


Please can you offer me some advice, I feel a little uncomfortable in some social situations.

I am generally a good communicator and can usually get my point accross with people I know well or do not know at all.

However I find I feel a little uncomfortable in social situations with people I partially know.

Examples include, when I see somone I knew from school 15 years ago in a store, although I recognise them, I feel uncomfortable to approch them and say Hello, instead I would probably pretend I had not noticed them and carry on about my business.

Or, when I am around my childrens friends parents after the initial greetings I begin to feel run out of things to say after going throuth the Hello, how are you stage.

I moved away my home area when I started my career and moved back recently, i distanced myself from most of my friends when I left school as I mixed with the wrong crowd when I was younger and Knew that their influence was going to get me in trouble and I had aspirations to better myself.

As I am self employed and work alone I find that now I do not really have any friends, the only people in my life is my wife and children and I am worried I am becoming socially inept.

I am worried as I think unless I can change this my behavior I will never be able to make any strong friendships again, and will stay like this for the rest of my life.

I would some advice on my behavior and how I can overcome the situation i am in.
 Dr. E. Seigle - Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:21 pm

Hi Birk,

It sounds like you are concerned about what others might be thinking and feeling about you in some social situations, that you are feeling socially isolated (except for your family relationships), and you have noted some reasons during your growing up that you became concerned about what others would think about you.

You might consider talking with a counselor, to help you to understand what kinds of relationships are likely to be satisfying to you, to develop an understanding of what underlying patterned feelings and thoughts are responsible for preventing you from developing these relationships, and finally, generating a "game plan" for beginning to develop these relationships. I would suggest that you find out who is a recommended counselor or "psychotherapist" in your area; names can be obtained from your family doctor, friends, the local chapter of the American Psychological Association or National Association of Social Workers, or your local hospital. Good luck!

-E. Seigle MD

-E. Seigle MD

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