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Date of last update: 8/24/2017.

Forum Name: Psychiatric Topics

Question: How to Deal with A love one thats bipolar?

 LV1108 - Mon Nov 09, 2009 1:11 am

Hi, i am in dire need of help. Let me begin by saying, i am 22/m and the person i am trying to help is my fiance, who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She is in her 20s and has a past of substance abuse and alcoholism, but slowly is now clean of drugs and alcohol. Im not sure of her family history but i know that their not the perfect family. There is no help or to put it better they want nothing to do with her, but is currently living at home with them for the time being. But i am in a pickle because, she has no insurance, we have no money and i don't know where to start looking for help.

I am probably going to be the sole person trying to help her out. I was wondering, if anybody can help me start. I am looking for an inpatient program in the tri-state, New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut, but i don't know what the costs are. Am i in the right direction? The reason for inpatient program is because, she is still trying to do everyday things like going to school and going to work. When in reality she cant function properly, I was trying to converse with her and she was talking to herself, was paranoid, and couldn't hold a conversation. She was prescribed medication after being sent to rehab for her disorder but stopped taking it due to terrible leg pains.

But when she was on the medication she had moments where she could comprehend what was going on, like i proposed to her and she was aware of the situation and said yes, and said she was so happy she could of cried, but in a matter of half an hour she was having a manic attack, and wanted nothing to do with me. She went from manic, depressed, normal then back to manic in just a few hours.

I am worried about her well being and need to act gingerly but quickly. If anyone can recommend any doctors/psychiatrists/inpatient treatment centers, it would be greatly appreciated. And if the cost of all these would really help. thank you in advance
 Debbie Miller, RN - Sat Dec 19, 2009 5:44 pm

User avatar Hello,
Congratulations on your desire to help your loved one. This can be a huge time and emotion investment. Another disorder which has some similar symptoms is borderline personality disorder. It is important that she get a proper diagnosis and treatment so you may want to investigate this as well as bipolar. Schizophrenia is also often manifest in early adulthood. Each disorder has unique treatment so you need to get a good psychiatric consultation. There is a list of treatment centers in New York a http://www.borderlinepersonalitytoday.c ... ewyork.htm. Inpatient may be necessary in order to find the right treatment.

As for resources, you may check on to see if they can help you find a treatment source. They might also direct you to some support programs for families dealing with loved ones who have mental illness.

Many states offer some mental health care on a sliding fee schedule so you should check on this. Perhaps calling your local health department can help you find a resource in your area, or perhaps a hospital that has a psychiatric unit, especially if it is connected with a teaching facility, like a University. There may be outpatient mental health clinics that are available through the county as well. Sometimes these facilities help cover the uninsured for such matters.

I know how frustrating it is when you need health care and can't afford it. Take care of yourself too. It can be emotionally exhausting to help someone in these circumstances but if you don't get the help and support you need, you will not be able to help her anyway. And, know that no matter how much you love her, if she is not ready to be helped there will be little you can do from the outside.

Best wishes in your search.
 LV1108 - Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:55 pm

Thank you Debbie, you are correct it is very frustrating, but i am trying my best, she is getting treatment on her own with her family without my help and it is really hard to deal with the emotional ups and downs. Thank you for all the information, Im going to keep at it even though at times she really doesn't want anything to do with me. It has taken a big emotional toll on my body. I have been recently prescribed zoloft to deal with the emotional stress and my anxiety attacks. I just hope it all gets better soon.
 Faye Lang, RN, MSW - Fri Jul 16, 2010 7:05 pm

Hello, LV1108,

We are glad to hear that your loved one is receiving the help she needs, and that you are receiving support, as well. It's very difficult to accept when someone we care about denies us access to their life. However, if you are not healthy and taking care of yourself, you cannot be of any help to someone else. Sometimes it just becomes time to move on and let the other person do whatever they need to do. I wish you both the best of luck.

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