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Date of last update: 8/24/2017.

Forum Name: Psychiatric Topics

Question: Co-parenting with a ex who is a sociopath

 In Need of Help - Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:57 am

Need some help on what to do to make this man number one not hurt my child. He has sexual addiction problems and I am afraid for her. He is not violent on the norm but the quiet calm type that can snap. He is very careful. He has set out to destroy me piece by piece and seems to think the weaker he makes me I will come back to him. It's like he is the one doing the things to hurt me then he wants to come in and try to act like can rescue me. He said to me you should have just stayed married and miserable. He is remarried and still focusing on me. How to I make this stop and what should I look out for in my child's or his behavior that states he is hurting her? I have more to add but thought I would get this on here to get some general advice first.
 Faye Lang, RN, MSW - Wed Aug 18, 2010 2:46 pm

Hello, In Need of Help,

Does your child seem uncomfortable with or resistant to visiting her father? Has she seemed unhappy in tone when talking about him? Does she have unusual pain or bruising of any type? If so, contact Child Protective Services and request their assistance. Your child's safety is the first concern. It's a good idea to document your concerns, and maintain a record of your observations, for legal reasons. If there is ever any physical threat to you or to your daughter, do not hesitate to involve the police.

It appears that you and your child's father have had discussions regarding your situation, and there has been no positive outcome. When there is a difficult family situation such as you describe, it's very helpful for the person to seek counseling, both for support and to help clarify the issues and the best approaches in dealing with those issues. If there is a Family Resource Center or other women's and children's services in your area, contact them for advice and assistance. Their services often contain basic legal information. Another option is to see an attorney who deals in family issues for legal guidance. If there are family members who are supportive, having them involved can be very helpful. It is tempting to keep such matters secret, but having them known by others can be very useful in diffusing the intensity, and may serve as a deterrent to the person who is pressuring you. Finally, to help you determine if there is any issue of harm to your child, consider having your child receive counseling.

If there is any further information I can provide or questions I can answer, please let me know. Good luck to you.

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