Doctors Lounge - Psychiatry Answers
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Forum Name: Antidepressants
|vero2angel - Sat Oct 29, 2005 12:25 am|
I have been feeloing very sad for about 4years now i cry at times for no reason at all i have no energy to get up and do thins like normal people. I feel as if i haven't been a good enough mother to my son he is actually probally one that can make me laugh and smile and take me away from my sadness. My partner has had problems with drug problems during our realtionship and at time had made me feel as if i am always doing wrong and can never do something right , always accusing me of cheating on him or out looking for other men. when that was never happening. when we would go out with his friends i always felt uncomfortable. thank god he is better for over 2 years and has gotten treament but i still feel down and irritable can't concentrate what do i have depression of some sort please help me i want to be normal again and stop being so sad all the time over everything
|angel2close - Sat Oct 29, 2005 1:31 am|
When your partner went into rehab or therapy for his drug problem, did you also have some type of therapy? After a person has been verbally and emotionally abused for a period of time, they often need help to regain their self-esteem and all the other parts of themselves they have lost or had altered. When an alcoholic or drug addict is "using" they are often abusive to their partner. They don't want to take the responsibility for their own actions and so they blame the person closest to them. They then go into therapy and hopefully they 'get better' as you said. The problem is that if you have not had therapy, you are left with all of the feelings of poor self-esteem, sadness, sometimes fear, and also depression. You need to see someone to help you through what you are feeling. Either contact your physician or a psychologist in your area who specializes in 'abused women'. You may feel that what you experienced was not abuse because perhaps your partner did not strike you. Emotional and verbal abuse are much more difficult sometimes to overcome than even physical abuse. Please seek help, even if you need to find a free clinic in your area. :( I know how you feel and I know that therapy can help. Take Care and let me hear back from you.
|vero2angel - Sun Nov 13, 2005 4:33 pm|
I want to thank you for your response back at me and no I never got therapy when my partner went in to rehep. I felt as if he got better I would feel alot better. But that isn't the case and I can see that and I'll go and speak to a phycician about my problem, when I get medical insurance. But the only worry i have is what will the ask? what will they tell me? what will they do knowing I was in this situation? But again thank you for your response and i hope to hear from you again. and if for any reason I don't i'll let you know how it goes.
|angel2close - Sun Nov 13, 2005 6:48 pm|
I do wish that you would consider getting help sooner rather than later. Perhaps there is a clinic in your area that offers treatment in accordance to the amount you are able to pay? I am very glad that you do realize that your partner's therapy did nothing to help you. :D
Going into therapy is pretty scary. :? You have to trust the therapist you are dealing with. You will be telling him/her a million things that you never thought that you would tell anyone. You need to be very honest with your therapist, no matter what. Whatever you tell them, can go no further than that room. No one will try to get the information, unless your partner is overly curious. You have no law that says that you need to tell ANYONE what goes on in your sessions.You may find out things that you may not think you want to know about yourself and your partner. Therapy is not easy by any means, but it certainly is well worth it. :wink:
Learning to like yourself and having back the self-esteem that one needs to function on a daily basis is more valuable than one realizes. You also want to feel good about yourself so that you can teach your child how to have a positive self image. I wish you luck and am here should you need another ear to listen. I have been where you are and I do understand. Take Care. :)
|vero2angel - Tue Nov 29, 2005 11:26 pm|
Hello it's me again and thing just seem to be getting worse now :cry: this weekend was one of the worst. I went to make an appointment to a therapist for what i am feeling on friday and when I came home my partner was acting wierd, he said people were after himwhen in real sense no one was. well you thought right he relapsed. And the classes that we had been going say support you partner when he or she is going through the hard times. How am I supposed to help him and myself all at the same time :?: He knows and says that it's all his fault for my depression and tells me to don't worry about him he will be okay. when i feel that is not right for me to do. what should i do, he knows he screwed up and feeling really bad about it but i don't feel right leaving him alone in his bad times.
|angel2close - Fri Dec 02, 2005 11:21 pm|
Please realize that your first responsibility is to you and your son. You cannot take care of your son in the ways he needs if you do not first take care of yourself. :? Your partner is a big boy, a man and is capable of caring for himself, but perhaps unwilling. :evil: Your child is unable to care for himself, not unwilling. :(
When we become 'enablers', which is what you are and I was, we are letting someone take control of our lives by making us feel guilty enough to think that 'we', not they are the ones responsible for their actions. :roll:
You have to learn to believe in yourself and believe that YOU are NOT responsible for HIS actions!!! Only HE can be responsible for what he does. You do not Force him to do ANYTHING ! :x I have told you that I have been in your place, with more than one person. . . . . . DUH! I know how it feels to be told how much you are to blame and how they cannot make it without your help. Trust ME Please. YOU are the one who cannot make it without YOUR help. Your son is the male in your life who needs you.
Force your partner to stand on his own two feet, or fall on his face. Let him do either one alone, without you there to blame. If you have a shelter in your area, go there. If you have family where he will not find you, go there. Take care of YOU and your child. Resist the urge to call your partner and / or let him know where you are. :!:
Your child will note the way that you live, even at his tender age. There comes a time in your life when you have to look out for YOU and those who look to you to care for them completely...... Your Son. You & your child need to come first.
Please call and get an appt. for therapy today.When this man has been clean for a few years, has been in therapy, can tell you that you were never to blame for HIS problems, and You are feeling good about YOU, then and only then would I consider even keeping company with him.
Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. If you do not find what it takes to leave him, please do not feel afraid or guilty and therefore not keep in touch. Believe me when I say that I care and I will be here no matter what your decision.
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