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Date of last update: 8/13/2017.

Forum Name: Urology Topics

Question: Problem Maintaining Erection

 baseball14 - Fri Jan 16, 2009 3:26 pm

I have been dating a girl for about 5 months now. Before we started dating I had sex on only four different occasions. The 2-3 times we had sex everything would be fine until I put on a condom after which I would lose my erection. I researched and found out that it was most likely due to anxiety and being nervous about having sex. After the first couple times I had no problems for about two months everything was going fine. About two weeks ago I lost and erection in the middle of intercourse and had no idea why but I didn't really think anything of it. The next few times we had sex I kept loosing it and I'm pretty sure it had to do with the fact that I thought about it and assumed it would happen again and it eventually did. After this we continued to have sex and everything was fine, probably the best its ever been, but then again today I lost my erection in the middle of intercourse.

I am extremely attracted to my girlfriend and am easily aroused by her. I feel like there might be something wrong with me more than just anxiety. It almost feels as if I don't have the strength that I used to have in my PC muscles. I've been tested for STD's before and have been clean and she was recently tested and was also clean.

I'm really worried about this because my girlfriend feels as if I'm hiding something from her or that I'm not attracted to her, but that is not the case at all I have nothing to hide and as I said earlier I am very attracted to her. I really would like to know what is wrong with me because I feel that if this continues I'm going to lose my girlfriend please help...
 John Kenyon, CNA - Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:36 pm

User avatar Hi there -

This is really a fairly common problem, and quite often, in younger, healthy males it's due to anxiety ("performance anxiety" to be exact). It sounds as though that may be a part of the problem here, as well as perhaps some other anxieties about the appropriateness of what's going on, or some other subconscious concerns. It could of course also be physical, but that's pretty rare in younger men. It could even be the condom, which may be too tight at the base and may be cutting down on the amount of blood available to maintain an erection -- although this, too, can also work the other way (and often does).

I don't think this likely has anything to do with an STD, but what you might consider is that there might be a physiological and/or psychological problem that a doctor could detect and treat, or perhaps refer you to a counselor if there are other concerns that are bubbling under the surface. It seems you're generally healthy and while this often happens, it also often requires having someone to talk with about concerns that may not be obvious.

I hope this is helpful to you. Good luck to you and try to not place too much pressure on yourself to perform. This should be a pleasurable experience, not a competition or a test. Please follow up with us as needed.

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